When A Wedding Goes Horribly, Horribly Wrong
by tgypwya
Summary: See that down there? Saint and Fang's wedding over Skype? Well, they weren't the only ones... I guess I'm married to Max now, if this all wasn't just a really, really bad dream...
1. The Wedding of the Century

**Me: Okay, well, Saint, Bell, and I were talking, and Saint and I agreed to turn our weddings into stories so Bell could read 'em.**

**Max: I still deny that this ever happened...**

**Me: Yeah... Not pretty... And Saint already had hers ready, I had to go back and edit this... Took me 2 and a half hours... It's 3:15 AM...**

**Max: Yeah, you woke me up for this. Bitch.**

**Me: -shrug- Just warning you now, this is obscenely disturbing.**

**Max: I lost count of times "F#$%" is used...**

**Me: Uh, so, well, I don't own anything. Well... Yeah, no.**

**Max: Read and be scarred for life. **

**

* * *

**

Cast

Me = Me. Who else?

Max = Max. You know her.

Fromo = Fromo the Homo.

Lear = Lear the Queer, Fromo's Shakespearean cousin.

Saint = Saint Fang of Boredom. You know her.

Fang = Fang. Saint's captive. You know him.

Spiffy = A Hobbit Named Spiffy. Saint's OC. Just read Avian Flu.

Pooky = Spiffy's penguin friend. Again, Avian Flu.

Skits = Skittles, aka Fangalicious08. I probably spelled that wrong. You may know her.

Iggy = Skits' captive. You know him. He's really horny.

Justin = Fang and Iggy's son. Just read Avian Flu already.

Vera = Vera Amber. You may know her.

Vera's Max = Vera has a captive Max too. Don't tell her, but she got Max II...

M.G = M.G Christiani. Her boyfriend Mack and HER Iggy captive are mentioned...

Kara = Kara from FlockUpdates.

**I think that's everyone... **

**

* * *

**

Fang: -glomps Fromo-

Iggy: He's my lover.

Fang: -is drunk-

Fromo: -is enjoying Fang's "company"-

Fang: -grabs Lear- 1,2,3!

Lear: -is more than happy to be included-

Me: -is severely creeped out-

Fang: -drags them off to private room-

Me: OUT OF MY ROOM!!! There's enough semen on the couch already...

Skits: ... What have you and Max been doing?!

Me: Oh, nothing...

Max: Just that. NOTHING.

Skits: Then why is there semen on the couch?!

Max: -tries to find reasonable excuse-

Vera: Haha

Saint: Hi, Max!

Max: Hi. I'm not getting married.

Me: Yeah, nowadays we can hae sex WITHOUT marriage.

Skits: Matt...Max...-headshake-

Max: -slaps Matt-

Max: I'm leaving now...

Skits: -grabs Max- No you are not.

Max: RAPE!

Skits: I know you want Matt to rape you, but you're staying.

Fromo: No, THIS is rape! -rapes-

Fang: -drags Fromo back in-

Skits: ...

Vera: Hey, Matt, does Max ever annoy you so much that you want to unkidnap her?

Me: Yes. All the time.

Vera: Well, hows about, in order to keep your Max from ever meeting the real one, you promise to keep your Max for all eternity?

Max: I AM the real Max.

Vera's Max: I disagree...

Skits: Max, get over yourself.

Vera: Okay, okay, wait!

Skits: Both of you.

Me: And I wanna know how that idea even works...

Vera: What?

Me: I promise to keep Max... Even though I want to unkidnap her?

Kara: Woah...whats going on? Im confuzzled!

Me: The Maxes are arguing. I think. I'm confused too.

Kara: Gosh, you leave to rap for ten minutes an- oh....okay...as long as im not the only one confused

Vera's Max: -glares at Max-

Max: -glares at Max-

Vera's Max: Grrr.

Max: Grrr.

Vera's Max: Rwar!

Skits: Hey! Max!

Vera's Max: What!?

Max: Yes?

Skits: Do you like being Matt's kidnapee?

Max: I'll take it over Fromo's kidnapee...

Skits: So, if Fromo were to want to kidnap you, you would promise to stay with Matt forever?

Max: ...I sense a trap.

Skits: -points to mouse trap- This one?

Max: Ah, yes. There we go.

Skits: Anyway, Max, would you stay with Matt if your only other choice was Fromo?

Max: Who wouldn't? Other than Iggy...

* * *

**Me: Good job, Max. You fell for it.**

**Max: -facepalm- **

**

* * *

**

Vera: You may now kiss the bride!

Skits: -plays wedding march on trumpet 'cause she's cool like that-

Fromo: -bursts out of Fang's private room and throws flowers-

Max: 'Twas a trap! I knew it!

Vera: You SO fell for it, though!

Me: -runs- S#$%$#$%$#$T!!!!

Fang: -comes out of room- Saint paid me to help!

Skits: -chases- -tackles-

Vera: Haha!

Skits: NO RUNNING!

M.G: -catches Matt- Dude, you're getting married. Deal.

Lear: I hath the rings, still!

Vera: I'm a civil servant, and you two are OFFICIALLY married! Mwahaha!

Kara: Im proud to call these evil geniuses my friends…

Skits: They _are_ married.

Me: -gets bright idea-

* * *

**Me: ....I logged out.**

**Max: Took them a minute to realize you left...**

**

* * *

**

Skits: -pulls Matt back and forces him to kiss Max-

Saint: No, we do not do divorces...

Skits: -huggles kara-

Saint: All bright ideas will fail. Ask M.G.'s Iggy.

M.G: He left!

Skits: Dude! NOT COOL!

Saint: You cannot just leave!

Vera: D:

Saint: We win, anyway.

Vera: They still got married, though.

M.G: And Rain still has my Iggy... So divorces, don't go well.

Saint: Exactly.

Skits: They're still married. Ha. I love being an evil genius.

Saint: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Vera: Me too...

Saint: So...Do we still get a party?

Vera: -nods-

Skits: O'course

Vera: We could SO take over the world, we're THAT good...

Kara: Fo'shizzle

Saint: Foshizzle, my home skillets!

M.G: ... No.

Saint: I know, I know...

Kara: Saint, no.

Saint: Just no...

Kara: Just no.

Saint: :(

Skits: -huggles Saint-

Vera: I think you're an epic gangsta, Saint!

Saint: Thanks, Vera!

Kara: Dont lie to her, V...

Saint: :(

Vera: I'm not! I don't lie to Saint unless I'm planning something!

Saint: Don't be dissing my homey, K. Diddy.

Vera: And I'm not!

Saint: And...Planning something?

Vera: -shrug- Planning something like... the Mattax wedding.

M.G: Like, I just picture Saint's voice in my head, and I think of the ghetto words.. And then I think fail.

Saint: ...I have a bad ghetto voice?

M.G: Like, it's not...ghetto enough to be ghetto.. Don't feel bad, mine's worse, apparently..

* * *

**Me: And right here, I logged on as Max for a minute... Before logging out again...**

**Max: No, you logged on as you first, then me...**

**Me: Right. Then I returned as me, and the party started. **

**

* * *

**

Saint: HE'S BACK! MATTHIAS! MAXICLES!

Skits: ...he is?

M.G: -nod-

Saint: He was...

Skits: ...

Saint: I saw... :(

M.G: My computer said "Crazy Floridian is online"... And his icon thing...WAS green...

Skits: HE"S BACK!

M.G: And Max is on..

Skits: theamazingmax is online

Saint: MAX!

Skits: It doesn't say Matt's on... Max...

Saint: I'm talking to Max.

Max: No you're not.

Skits: -pokes Max- Congrats on teh wedding. -grins-

Vera's Max: ...please tell me that I'M not married to Matt, as well...

Saint: EPIC DRUNKEN WEDDING PARTY!

Vera: WEEEE! -makes pyramid of beer smileys-

Saint: Matthias!

Me: I be back. Let us partay.

Saint: -beer smiley-

Fang: NO ONE TAPE THIS WEDDING PARTY! BAD THINGS HAPPEN!

Saint: Thanks for the reminder, baby.

Fang: ...

Saint: Had to.

Max: ...

Fang: I tried that, Max. It didn't work...

Saint: Did we tell Max about our wedding?

Max: it'llworkit'llworkit'llworkit'llworkit'llwork...

Fang: I...Think...

Me: She found out.

Skits: -shudder- -dies from mental images-

* * *

**Enter Justin. And it all goes downhill from here... **

**

* * *

**

Max: -goes off in search of time machine-

Justin: Hi daddy!

Fang: Hi...

Iggy: -looks at dead Skits- -shrug-

Fang: And Saint has control of the time portals, Max...

Saint: -resurrects Skits-

Justin: -hugs Iggy- Mommy!

Iggy: -hugs Justin- Hey Justy!

Vera: -makes a martini smiley diamond- Weeee! I did it! -hiccup-

Me: GAH! Too many martinis!

Justin: Mommy, I hung out with Daddy and Auntie Saint's twins!

* * *

**Me: Oh yeah, Saint and Fang are having twins... -shrug-**

**Max: And this is where it gets severely disturbing. You have been warned.**

**

* * *

Saint: Justin...**

Iggy: Aww...that's sweet...-humps pole-

Max: Damn... I need some tequila...

Vera's Max: -gives Max tequila-

Max: This is gonna be a looooooooooong night,

Vera's Max: -giggles-

Iggy: -humps chainsaw-

Justin: -pokes Max- Hi!

Iggy: -humps Max-

Vera's Max: -drinks pyramid of beer smileys-

Max: Are you that Justin ki-DAMMIT IGGY!

Vera'sMax: -humps Iggy-

Justin: Yeah, I'm Justin! Are you Auntie Max?

Iggy: -punches Vera's Max- -humps Matt's Max-

Vera's Max: -takes Iggy's shirt off-

Justin: -feels ignored- -pouts-

Me: Hi Justin!

Justin: Hi!

Iggy: -hump Justin-

Me: CHILD RAPE!!!

Saint: Who are you?

Vera: INCEST!

Justin: Mommy! Stop!

Iggy: Why Justy?

Justin: I was talking to the nice man!

Iggy: -humps Matt-

Me: WT... Ah, whatever...

Iggy: -censored with Matt-

Vera's Max: -giggles- Don't censor anything!

Justin: Hey...Where's Auntie Saint and Daddy go?

Iggy: Alright. -has hot, steamy gay sex with Matt-

Me: NO. BAD IGGY. GO F#$% FROMO.

Iggy: -humps Fromo-

Justin: Hello! I'm an unaccompanied minor! Daddy is missing...

Lear: Hello young one! Haveth some drink!

Iggy: -pulls Lear into the make out session- -f#$%s Fromo and Lear-

Justin: SAINT AND DADDY ARE MISSING AND I'M ALONE YOU F#$ING MORONS!!!!

Skits: JUSTIN! -hugs- Don't say f#$ing ever again.

Me: JUSTIN! Bad words! Don't f#$ing curse!

Justin: But Mommy says it...

Me: And speaking of f#$ing... I think that's where Saint and Fang are...

Skits: Your mommy's an idiot.

Iggy: -is f#$ing Lear and Fromo-

Skits: ...And a man-whore. Your mommy's an idiotic man-whore.

Justin: Auntie Saint said something like, "F#$ Lent"... Is she f#$ing Lent?

Skits: ...No, she's f#$ing your daddy.

Justin: Oh.

Skits: And, don't say 'f$#' anymore, Justin.

Justin: Am I gonna have more little siblings?

Skits: If your daddy breaks the condom again...

Justin: What's that?

Skits: It's what keeps them from getting pregnant.

Justin: Ok...

Iggy: S#$...I forgot the f#$ing condom!

Me: F##################$k...

Justin: What's a f#$ing condom?

Skits: Don't say that word!

Justin: Is that a different kind?

Me: Yes. It has the word f#$ in front.

Justin: Ok! I like you! Who are you?

Me: I'm Matt! Not Matthias!

Skits: He's another f#$ing idiot. No offense.

Justin: You're my Uncle Matthias! -huggles-

Me: NONONONONONONO. Matt! Not Matthias!

Justin: But Auntie Saint said...

Me: Yeah, well, Auntie Saint's a f#$%ing idiot.

Iggy: I don't see why you don't like Fromo and Lear, they're great in bed.

Me: And she's f#$%ing an idiot, but that's another story...

Justin: Auntie Saint says you're a Damn Floridian, but she liked you anyway.

Me: I'll take that as a compliment...

Skits: Don't say 'damn' either!

Justin: Auntie Saint also said not to tell your wife about her and Fang's twins.

Me: She knows. I think.

Justin: F#$%ing idiot! Why can't I say that?

Skits: 'Cause it has a bad word.

Me: It's not nice, Justin.

Skits: F#$% is the dirtiest of all words.

Me: But also the most useful.

Justin: I think Auntie Saint is in trouble! I heard screams! Should I go check?

Me: Heheheheh... No. Just... Stay where you are...

Skits: Heheh...No...stay...

Justin: But...

Skits: Just stay, hon... Trust me.

Me: Please... You're still young and fairly innocent...

Skits: You'll regret going...

Me: Very much so...

Justin: Uncle Matt, you're f#$%ing cool.

Me: -grins-

Skits: STOP SAYING 'F#$%'!

Me: Hey, I'm not complaining about that usage.

Justin: F#$% f#$% f#$%!

Skits: -washes mouth out with soap-

Justin: Ew!

Skits: Exactly.

Justin: Auntie Saint is here! She says I need to go to bed...

Me: Tell her she's a Damn New Englander!

Skits: Have a nice f#$%ing, Saint?

M.G: I'm watching this conversation without actualy participating, and I find it f#$%ing hilarious...

Saint: Damn Floridian... Skits, can I talk to Iggy?

Iggy: What do you want? I was in the middle of f#$%ing Fromo and Lear....

Saint: I......... Hold on...

Me: -wonders what happened to Max- -decides he doesn't really care- -may have to rewrite next MM&aDK chap-

Skits: Matt's the damn Floridian, Saint's the damn New Englander, M.G's the f#$%ing Canadian, what am I?

Vera: And what about me?

M.G: Wait, since when am I the f#$%ing Canadian?

Skits: -shrug-

Spiffy: Hey!

Pooky: We brought more cake!

Spiffy: How come we always get stuck making wedding cake?

Pooky: It's yummy?

Skits: WHY DON'T I GET A TITLE?!

Me: You seriously WANT to be a "Damn something?"

Skits: I feel left out...

Spiffy: Damn Kentuckian.

M.G: Damn Kentuckian...

Skits: Better.

Me: Damn Kentuckian...

Vera: -cries- What am I!?

Pooky: Bi-Polar.

Skits: You're that damn person from that damn state...

Vera: Bipolar... gee, thanks...

M.G: Damn whatever-the-f#$%-you-call-people-from-SC...

Pooky: We'll be right back...

Spiffy: We're going to go ruin Fang and Saint's night...

Pooky: It _is_ Lent...

Spiffy: They shouldn't be doing such things!

Me: No it's not! It's Sunday now! They are freed from the constraints of Lent for 24 hours! Let's get f#$%ing!

Pooky: Don't tell Saint that. We want to make her feel guilty.

Vera: We're called South Carolinians...

M.G: That's what I thought..

Pooky: Damn Carolinian.

Me: Damn South Carolinean...

Skits: You're still to me that damn person from that damned state

M.G: Wait, what's Kara? Damn New Jersian?

Skits: Damn New Joisian.

M.G: Jersey. Not Joisey.

Skits: For extra annoyance..

Kara: JERSEY!!! JER-F#$%IN-ZEE

Skits: Jerf#$ingzee? Jer, like you're, f#$ing, zee, like thee. YOU'RE F#$ING THEE?! So, you're f#$ing yourself?

M.G: That's Iggy, not Kara..

Saint: Can I borrow a chainsaw? I need to dismember a hobbit and a penguin.

Iggy: -hands chainsaw-

Saint: Thank you, Iggy...

Skits: Um...Saint...

Saint: Though I'd like to know what this white stuff is on it..

Skits: About that chainsaw... Nevermind...

Saint: Second thought... No.

Me: -facepalm- Bad... Bad chainsaw...

Saint: -drops chainsaw-

Skits: Wana spork instead?

Saint: I'll just choke them....

Iggy: Hey, Saint, did the condoms work?

Saint: -kills Iggy- Moving on...

Me: -resurrects- NO F#$%ING DYING.

Saint: I killed him.

Me: Your point?

Saint: You wrecked my kill.

Me: Your point"

Saint: -kills Matthias-

M.G: -realives all dead people- I can't keep track anymore..

Iggy: DID. THE. F#$ING. CONDOMS. WORK?!

Me: Whose condoms? I think everyone here's used one tonight...

Skits: -giggles- F#$%ing condoms. _F#$%ing_ condoms...

Saint: YES, THEY F#$%ING DID! NOW WHAT PART OF 'YOU TELL NO ONE' DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND YOU STUPID HORNY BIRD-KID?!

Iggy: -humps Saint- Your anger makes me more horny.

Saint: -shoots Iggy's balls off-

Iggy: Kinky.

Saint: Damn Horny Bird... YOU HAVE NO BALLS! IT'S NOT KINKY!!

Iggy: -humps Matt-

Max: -humps Iggy-

Saint: YOU ARE BLEEDING FROM YOUR BALL AREA! I SHOT THEM OFF! WHY DON'T YOU STOP HUMPING THINGS?!

Iggy: -humps Max-

M.G : You have no idea how hard I'm trying not to burst out laughing...

Max: -gets back on top-

Skits: ...mating season for Maxxiekinz?

Saint: WHAT THE HELL, MAX?!

Iggy: -has sex with Max-

Me: No... not yet...

Fang: Wow...

Skits: ...what the hell are they doing?

Saint: -gets hold of Fang- No.

Fang: Dammit...

Iggy: -f#$%s Max hard-

Me: It's free live porn...

Saint: IGGY! DID YOU REMEMBER THE CONDOM?!

Fang: o_0

Me: Oh s#$%... PULLOUTPULLOUTPULLOUT!!!!

Iggy: -continues f#$%ing Max condomless-

Me: Wait... No... Couch...

Saint: -pulls out gun-

Fang: SAINT!

Saint: It would work...

Vera's Max: -attempts to f#$% Iggy and... herself...-

Iggy: -finishes f#$%ing Max-

M.G: This is just a f#$%ing great conversation.

Me: -is freaked by the sudden threesome in his bedroom-

Saint: Well, f#$.

Me: Nice choice of words, Saint.

Fang: I think they did.

Saint: -whacks Fang-

Iggy: Well...finally, I get a good f#$%ing.

Me: YOU'VE BEEN SCREWING ALL NIGHT!

Skits: -bites lip to avoid bursting out laughing-

Iggy: But Max has been the best.

Max: -drunken grin-

Iggy: Whoa, wait...did I really just f#$% Max?

Saint: -mutters- Bet Fang's better...

Max: Ready for round two?

Iggy: Hell yes. -f#$%s Max again- -and again-

Me: -leaves-

Iggy: -and again-

Saint: Is Max gonna convert to Iggy's Witnesses?

Me: Let's ask her.

Max: !!!!!

Fang: Have I been dumped?

Saint: In a way...

Iggy: -and again-

Me: I thought you were married, Fang...

Iggy: -and again-

Fang: Yeah. Just saying.

Saint: He'll miss the adoration... I'll miss the competition.

Iggy: -and once again-

Saint: -throws condoms at Iggy-

Me: I think Max is just really really drunk...

Saint: Ahhh...

Me: But you never know...

Iggy: -throws condoms away and continues f#$%ing Max-

Saint: Well, it was worth a shot.

Max: I swear to drunk I'm not Go-YEEESSSS!!!!

Iggy: -f#$%s Max even more-

Vera's Max: -f#$%s Iggy-

Max: -f#$%s Iggy too-

M.G: Have I mentioned I love Skype? Because I love Skype...

Me: Have I mentioned I love weddings? Because I love weddings...

Fang: Pancakes...

Skits: Stop licking Saint.

Saint: He bit me.

Fang: :D

Iggy: -f#$%s Max- -tastes Max- Mmmm. -f#$%s more-

Saint: Ok, Iggy's starting to creep me out...

M.G: Iggy, dude... Can we like, banish him?

Max: Less licking. More f#$%ing.

Iggy: -f#$%s more, licks less-

Goddess M.G and Sir Mackles of Canadia: ...

Saint: That's Wal*Mart. Or was that Payless? It was... F#$%s More. Licks Less. That's Payless.

Iggy: -f#$%s Max more-

Me: MORE -beer smiley- !!!

Saint: -beer- -margarita-

Me: -beer- -margarita- -beer- -margarita- -beer- -margarita- -beer- -margarita- -beer- -margarita-

Saint: To quote Captain Jack...."DRINKS ALL AROUND!"

Iggy: -finishes f#$%ing Max- Well...that was great...

Max: ROUND THREE!!!

Me: OFF MY F#$%ING COUCH!!!

Saint: Well, it's a 'F#$%ing Couch', Matt,,,

Iggy: If it's a _f#$%ing_ couch... -f#$%s Max on the couch-

Me: -facepalm-

Saint: Wording, Matthias-san...

Iggy: -hard- -harder than Fang ever has-

Saint: Not possible, Ig.

Max: -is wondering why the hell she "chose Fang" back in MAX-

Iggy: -MUCH harder than Fang ever has-

Saint: Well, I think I officially win Fang here...

Saint: WHO DOES IT HARDER THAN IG!

Fang: What?

Saint: I'm fighting with Iggy, love...

Fang: Fang: Ok...

Saint: Is it bad that I randomly want to shoot Iggy's dick off? Just because?

Me: No, that's completely normal.

Saint: Oh, good. -pulls out gun-

M.G: I say we neuter Iggy, and make the world a better place...

Skits: I second that motion.

Saint: I'm on it, M.G.

Iggy: -breaks couch-

Saint: -aims gun-

Me: NO!!!!!!!!! MY COUCH!!!!!!! BITCH!!!!!!

Iggy: -f#$%s Max anyway-

Saint: -is laughing too hard to aim-

Me: -shoots Iggy's dick off-

Saint: I WANTED TO DO THAT! DAMN FLORIDIAN!

Iggy: -is f#$%ing Max so hard Matt misses-

Me: HE BROKE MY COUCH!!!

Saint: BUT I WANTED TO DO IT!-stomps foot-

Me: HE BROKE MY F#$%ING COUCH!!! -rephrases- HE BROKE MY GODDAMN COUCH!!!

Saint: -just shoots Iggy full of holes-

Skits: -glares- -slaps Matt-

Saint: Zeus damn around Skits, Matt... Zeus-Damn.

Me: Got it. HE BROKE MY ZEUSDAMN COUCH!!!

Vera's Max: Why the f#$% won't Iggy f#$% me!?

Iggy: -f#$%s Matt's Max-

Kara: WE GET IT IGGY, YOU'RE F#$%ING SOMRONE BUT WE DO NOT NEED LIVE UPDATES!

Me: Okay, how many little post-things DON'T use the word f#$%?

Saint: I don't f#$%ing know....

Iggy's dick should fall off now

And get stuck where it is...Wow

That would be awkward and just weird

But I don't care 'cause that kid's queered.

Iggy: -f#$%s Max on top of Matt-

Saint: ...

Me: ...

Saint: Shoot them.

Me: -does so-

Skits: -tries not to laugh-

Iggy: -rolls off of Matt onto floor and continues f#$%ing Max-

Me: -keeps shooting-

Saint: -turns Iggy into neutered cat-

Max: Oh, hey Fang!

Fang: Hi...

Max: Care to join us?

Saint: -grabs Fang- HE'S NOT!

Skits: HADES-DAMMIT! IGGY MARIAN RIDE GRIFFITHS BLEVINS! GET YOUR DICK OUT OF HER RIGHT NOW OR I'M GETTING THE STROON AND BEATING YOUR ASS WITH IT FROM HERE TO PLUTO!

Iggy: -jumps away from Max- -puts clothes on- -steps away from Max-

Max: NO! COME BACK!

Fang: Hi...

Iggy: So...tempted...to...f#$%...

Saint: Don't talk to her..

Me: -is sleeping-

Iggy: -f#$%s Max more-

Max: -jumps on Fang-

Saint: -tackles Max- MINE!!!

Skits: -slaps Matt- Wake up!

Saint: MATTHIAS!

Me: -wakes up- My naked-catfight radar is tingling...

Saint: CONTROL YOUR WIFE THING!

Skits: -pushes Matt and Max into a room- GO F#$% EACH OTHER!

Saint: That should work... HOLD THEM IN THE ROOM!

Me: -yawn- -falls asleep-

Max: -humps anyway-

Skits: -tries not to burst out laughing-

Fromo: Does anybody here wanna sleep with me?

Iggy: -raises hand-

Saint: I was gonna say, Iggy will.

Fromo: -runs off with Iggy to San Francisco-

Skits: -holds Iggy back- You've done enough f#$%ing for one night.

Saint: I'm gonna get to bed, peeps. Work tomorrow.

* * *

**Me: And everyone says bye to Saint, etc...**

**Max: -facepalm- Iwasdrunk****Iwasdrunk****Iwasdrunk****Iwasdrunk****Iwasdrunk... **

******************

* * *

**

Skits: 'Night.

Me: Bye Saint!

Iggy: -goes to bed with Saint-

Saint: NO, IGGY!

M.G: 'Night Saint!

Me: I'll get you back for this whole Max-wife-thing...

Saint: Matthias, you will lose. It's a horde of females against one... Many X-chromosomes...

Me: NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Skits:

Saint: Bitchy ones... And once a month, we become bloodthirsty.

Me: MY SINGLE Y SHALL WITHSTAND YOUR ATTACKS!!!

M.G: That's what Mack said, Matt... Now we have him wrapped around our fingers.

K. Diddy: Good night home dawg Saint ;(

Me: There will be no wrapping of fingers!

M.G: That's what you think...

Saint: I'm gonna kill Iggy, by the way. Starting with sticking his balls in a blender.

M.G: -claps- Good.

Saint: Awww....Matthias is so cute, thinking he'll win!

Skits: -glances at Matt- -bursts out laughing-

Saint: -huggles Matthias-

Me: Should I take that as a compliment?

Skits: Take what as a compliment?

Me: That's what I thought. Damn New Englander...

Saint: Damn Floridian. -huggles- -kicks in balls- Don't mess.

* * *

**Me: Ever notice how Saint always seems to be in control, even when she's not in control?**

**Max: She's got you wrapped around her fingers, dude...**

**_Thanks for reading! -Matt&Max_**


	2. Behind the Scenes

**Me: Well.... Guess what I just got sent...**

**Max: They were planning it...**

**Me: Yeah, this is a separate conversation that I wasn't a part of... That was going on through the wedding part of the wedding...**

**Max: Those girls are GOOD...**

**Me: That can be taken sexu-**

**Max: What _can't _be taken sexually?**

**Me: -shrug- Same cast as before... This starts just a bit before the last chapter did...**

**

* * *

**

Vera: Okay, so hows about we yell "Wedding time" on the count of three?

M.G: -shrug- Sure.

Vera: One!

Saint: We need to be subtle!

Vera: ...we do?

M.G: Subtle? Nah...

Vera: Why can't we just yell wedding time?

Skits: I got it.

Vera: Oh?

Saint: They'll leave! If they know what we're doing!

Vera: What's your idea, Skits?

Skits: Okay, so, someone says the vows and someone asks 'does anyone like -insert something here-' and then they'll say 'I do!'

Vera: So, like... we make them get married without them realizing it?

Skits: -nod-

Vera: Oohs!

Saint: I NEED TO FIND FROMO AND LEAR! Hold on...

Vera: Once you get those two, I get to do it! I'm the civil servant, after all. -grin-

Saint: -grins- Fang's helping me... He's not as drunk as you think he is... Just watch...

* * *

Me: And this is where the other chap began...

**Max: Of course he wasn't drunk...**

**

* * *

**

Skits: You just say the vows and someone else shouts out over you a question that'll make them say 'I do'.

Vera: Hows about I disguise the vows in a question?

Saint: :D

Skits: V...the vows _are_ a question...

Vera: Yeah, but they're not disguised... Hold on...

Skits: Saint...what the hell is Fang doing?

* * *

Max: What _was_ Fang doing?

**Me: "Fang: -drags them off to private room-"**

**Max: Ah...**

**

* * *

**

Fang: I'm _never_ doing that again!

Fromo: I thought I was gonna get laid!

Lear: Our thoughts were quite wrong...

Vera: What about, like, "Hey, Matt, does Max ever annoy you so much that you want to unkidnap her?"And whatever his response may be..."Well, hows about, in order to keep your Max from ever meeting the real one, you promise to keep your Max for all eternity?" Does that work? Doesn't matter if he actually says "I do" or not... "Okay" works fine.

Saint: -is explaining to Lear and Fromo-

Vera: I'mma do it now if I get no comments...

Fromo: I get to throw flowers!

Vera: Wait until after I've made them get married!

Skits: Wait, Vera!

Vera: What?

Saint: ...

Vera: WTF!?

Saint: That Dirty Floridian and Dirty Bird...

Vera: ...no one told Max anything, right?

Saint: Right...

Vera: She's just.. like... being Max? S#$%!

Saint: Either that, or they're on to us and messing with us.

* * *

Max: What was that all about?

**Me: _"_****_Saint: Hi, Max!_**

**_Max: Hi. I'm not getting married._**

**_Me: Yeah, nowadays we can have sex WITHOUT marriage."_**

**Max: Ah... **

**

* * *

**

Vera: Anyone, if no one has anything to say, can I marry them now?

Saint: Go for it... Fromo!

Skits: Fromo! What the hell?!

Fromo: Sorry...Had to...

Skits: -slaps-

* * *

Max: And that?

**Me: "Fromo: No, THIS is rape! -rapes-"**

**Max: -facepalm-**

**

* * *

**

Skits: Ooh, after they both agree can I play teh wedding march on my trumpet?

M.G : Ooh..

Saint: I hope they don't catch on...

Vera: Me too...

Skits: Ditto.

Vera: S#$%...

Saint: Well, from making trouble with any fake Max posers?

Vera: YES! One down!

* * *

Max: They got you.

**Me: Yeah, they got me... This'll be important later, kids, so don't forget...**

**

* * *

**

Saint: Yes yes yes! Now, be subtle about switching to Max...

Vera: -nods-

Saint: Like you just thought to talk to her...

Skits: -bites lip-

Vera: S#$%! KARA! Don't you DARE mention another convo! OR I WILL FRU- oh, okay, we seem to be fine...

* * *

I think I cut that part out when I was editing the other one... -shrug-

**

* * *

**

Skits: Now...switch to Max...

Vera: This is too easy...

Skits: Oh!

Vera: Mwahaha! Dangit... I need ideas...

Skits: What?

Vera: On how to make Max get Max to marry Matt...

Skits: Why doesn't...someone else do Max? So they won't catch on...

Vera: My Max is doing Max? Kinda? And that sounds wrong...

Fromo: -can't wait to throw flowers-

Vera: Be subtle!

Skits: What do I say...gah...Shoulda thought that through...

Vera: Say "...I forgot"

Skits: No...I got this...

Vera: Oohs! Nice! Then, like, "Well, do you promise not to kill him?", or something?

Skits: Hehe..it has the word 'pee' in it...

Vera: BAD WORDING!You shoulda dumped the forever! S#$%!

M.G: S#%..

Fang: I'm just gonna type something random in the convo so Matt and Max think it's normal...

Vera: What can we say to convince her it's not!

Skits: Good idea...

* * *

Me: Alright, here's what happened.

**Max: We saw the trap. But then Matt here had a brilliant idea.**

**Me: Heheh... Yeah, I said we oughta play along for a bit, then stop them when they try to trick me.**

**Max: Of course... -points up-**

**Me: -nod- They already tricked me. And I didn't notice. -facepalm-**

**Max: So it was YOUR fault after all.**

**Me: Unfortunately...**

**

* * *

**

Skits: Gah...

Vera: Let's not try to trick Max again for a few minutes...

Skits: ...So...that'd be a yes, right?

Vera: -nods-

Saint: I do not actually need help...

Vera: I know.

Skits: YEs!

Vera: WAIT! Can I say "You may now kiss the bride!"?

Saint: What?

Skits: Yes. AND I'LL PLAY THE WEDDING MARCH![

Fromo: Flowers?

Vera: Yep! Flowers!

Skits: Mwahahaha!! We ish evil.

Vera: We are...

* * *

Me: So there you have it. What was going on on the other side.

**Max: They're sneaky bitches...**

**Me: But wait! I just got my revenge about a half hour ago...**

**

* * *

**

***Today***

Me: Hmmm..... Who wants me to upload a sketch of Max to dA?

Saint: I do!

M.G: I do!

Me: Should I scan it or take a picture of it?

Kara: I do!

Vera: I d- wait, no, post it! I don't want to marry you, Matt...

* * *

Max: -facepalm- You just married three other girls...

**Me: Yep! I'm married to Saint, M.G, Kara, AND Max! I'm awesome!**

**Max: You tricked them into saying "I do"... All except Vera...**

**Me: Yeah, and I'm so good, I didn't even realize I was doing it!**

**Max: ...**

**Me: THE Y CHROMOSOME TRIUMPHS!!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!**

**Max: Uh... Saint just called, you guys just adopted four kids.**

**Me: ...**

**Max: Wrapped around her fingers, dude, wrapped around her fingers.**

**Me: Shut up...**

**_Thanks for reading! -Matt&Max_**


End file.
